Toss em

I know that I'll be spending most of the evening with Chad about five seconds after we walk into the venue. 

I'm here with Lara, who has invited me as a wingwoman on her second-date adventure with the uber hot drummer of an alternative local band.  He's going to be playing a lot of the night, so I'm there to nod and tap feet and help her suss the situation when he's on stage.

His band dresses up in earth-toned jumpsuits bedeckled with Top Gun badges and apparently have a big beat/experimental sound.  I have no idea what this means and I'm intrigued by the Christmas lights on the ceiling of the bar, the ambigous maybe dudes/maybe female couple stroking each other's asses. I'm also partial to the blond dreadlocked dude rolling a Safeway cart down the appealingly seedy neighbourhood sidewalk.

Lara's date is Brandon, a tall, breathtakingly handsome flight attendant cum drummer.  He looks at her like she is the Milky Way and my immediate thought is approval. They have a tangible connection.  My secondary thought, upon glancing at his lolling friend on the bar stool is: Chad is going to be my entertainment for the evening.

Chad is curly-haired and shock-eyed, wearing a Hawaiian print shirt and awkward pointy shoes, and he keeps sniffing his front pocket, which is obscenely filled with an array of crayon-sized pot joints.  While Brandon and Lara intertwine hands, whisper and coo, Chad leans in next to me and whispers: "Wanna go hotbox my van?"

No, I totally don't wanna hotbox his van, plus I'm driving, but he's effing weird and I like that and so I join him outside for a stroll in the lilac-scented evening air. 

He puffs away at one filtered joint and then another, and he's patently harmless and fascinating: he stops short in the middle of a skunk-smelling alley and stares me up and down.

"You a sag?"

"What? A Sagittarius?"

"Yeah."

"No, a Taurus."

"Hmm.  That's odd."

"I don't give much stock to astrology.  I don't have many of the typical Taurean traits."

"When were you born?"

"April 22."

He starts making circles in the air, tasting his finger, puffing and heaving.

"Well, you're not a Taurus.  You're on the cusp, and you're more Aries than Taurus."

"Oh.  Well, I don't really follow my horoscope."

He stubs out his joint and beckons me to follow him back to the bar.  Lara is sitting at the table with some young snowboarder-looking dudes and Chad motions to me to take the only available seat.

"I know this shit," he says.

I look at him.

"You work your ass off, and you're good at what you do.  You're used to getting what you want, and when you don't, it's hard for you to digest it."

I stare at him, and he pauses to sniff his pocket.

"You throw yourself wholeheartedly into people, into guys in particular, and when you're done with them, usually quickly, you discard them and never look back. You leave a bit of a trail behind you. "

I stare at him.

He sucks back his drink and fiddles with his Hawaiian print.

"You should work on that," he says.

I punch his information into my Blackberry and tell Lara I suddenly believe in Astrology.  And would prefer to change its tenets.

Comments

[Thursday]

I had a very similar experience some years ago with a pot-smoking Chad-like man.

[Carolyn]

You seriously have the most intriguing encounters which I love to read about. You should be writing this stuff down! ;)

Good to keep in touch with this guy, as long as you don't find out he works for the psychic friends network.

[Jason]

ahhh pot and it's underrated Kreskin like properties.

Good tail, I mean tale.

J.

[SUE]

There you have it..

[Teej]

You meet the most interesting people! I need to speak with Chad lol. I want to know why I work my ass off and watch other people around me get ahead and I stay in the same circumstances dammit!

[Black Hockey Jesus]

"Wanna go hotbox my van?" nearly killed me. Did he have a ring?

[Stephanie N.]

Wow. You've given me a reason to reconsider my complete dismissal of astrology.

[Kgrrl]

omg, too funny!
He sounds like a stoner version of our bartender - knows way more than they appear...
damn.
Freaks me out when people can read you like that...

[Laura]

re: earbud tweet: http://www.amazon.com/Sennheiser-Twist-Stereo-Sport-Headphones/dp/B000FJEYZS
LOVE these for gym and running (not so much the green, but i got over it pretty quickly). also, only $28.

[erik]

aaahaha i love it! what a typical vancouver 30's scenester evening... friend dates drummer from unknown band while you occupy the drummer's pothead friend.

oh and by the way - just because he did a cold read on you and it was somewhat accurate doesn't mean astrology is anything. astrology itself is nothing but generalizations that could apply to anyone, but make you feel like they apply to you when you hear them. psychics do this kind of crap all the time.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cold_reading

[Melissa]

I don't smoke pot, but I am really into astrology (wish I could recite stuff like that guy!). There is a great book by Linda Goodman called Love Signs...I swear by it, it makes complete sense.

Out of all my cynical friends who think astrology is bogus, I have had them read there relationship equivalent in that book and they were blown away...If anything, it is fun to look at :)

Happy hunting, and I can't wait to go boarding in Vancouver BC some day!

[Marin]

Hate to say it, but those general statements would apply to most women. *ducks and runs away*

[Abigail Carter]

Funny sometimes who our teachers wind up being. You heard what you needed to hear perhaps.

[Erika]

Response to Marin:

That is true. Each individual statement could apply to every woman. ALL of his statements fit our girl. That is more than coincidence. Either he really does "know this shit" or he reads this blog. :)

[Kerri Anne]

I once read my horoscope in college and it said something something something, "You're a ten on an Aries' scale." That very same day a very sweet and verbose Aries told me I was "Aces high, a ten in his book." I'm so not even kidding.

I think I still have the original horoscope. I don't think I could forget it if I tried.

[melanie]

I had an experience like this on a bus doing a food run while at Burning Man many years ago. He was a long haired piano player from SF and he read me like a book. We had the most amazing connection for the entire trip. I should have left it at that - but then again I wouldn't have such interesting stories to tell if I did would I?

[Lgirl]

I have been reading for awhile and found it fun that we share our Birthday. The only part of what the asstrologer said that applies to me is being use to getting my own way none of the rest suits me at all.